That Certain Feeling

I just read a sentence that caused such a rush of emotion, I put a hand to my heart and started to cry. And it's probably not a sentence you would expect.

That sentence, "No problem. Maybe we'll just grab some takeout from that new Chinese place and head back home." It gutted me. Just typing it is making me cry.

It's that feeling, that sense of comfort and peace and "no problem." It's a care-free life that I had back in the early to mid-90's. Nathan and I would go out to eat on a whim or grab a pizza. Buds and I would get home from school and one of us would suggest walking down to the Irish pub to grab some wings.

That Friday afternoon feeling when the weekend is open and you have nothing that is calling your name with urgency. You can put the work of the week behind you and relax into the life you have chosen.

Jumping off the school bus on an Autumn afternoon when the sun is shining and there are hours to play outside in the crisp air before heading inside for a bath and dinner. Waking up to a snow day; unexpected delight.

It's not the excitement of Christmas or a vacation. It's the spark of joy in a regular day, a respite from press and stress. The deep breath when you feel like you are taking the deepest breath you've taken all day. The catch in your throat has lifted.

Cancelled plans! Living with all these introverts has taught me the joy of cancelled plans.

One of my hopes for this upcoming trip to Spain is a taste of that feeling. Time and space to break open to that sense of wonder and escape again. The deep breath that heals.