"On Getting Free"
Sundays are busy around here.
I was Worship Leader at church yesterday, so out of the house before the rest of the crew.
Our new minister was visiting for the first time, which meant a big pot luck, so Buds and the kids came tripping along later with 10 lbs of baked potatoes.
After a wonderfully moving service, including these two readings:
On Getting Free
By Mia McKenzie
A long time ago, when you were a wee thing, you learned something,
some way to cope,
something that, if you did it, would help you survive.
It wasn’t the healthiest thing,
it wasn’t gonna get you free, but it was gonna keep you alive.
You learned it, at five or six, and it worked,
it *did* help you survive.
You carried it with you all your life,
used it whenever you needed it.
It got you out — out of your assbackwards town,
away from an abuser,
out of range of your mother’s un-love.
Or whatever.
It worked for you.
You’re still here now partly because of this thing that you learned.
The thing is, though, at some point you stopped needing it.
At some point, you got far enough away,
surrounded yourself with people who love you.
You survived.
And because you survived, you now had a shot at more than
just staying alive.
You had a shot now at getting free.
But that thing that you learned when you were five was not then,
and is not now, designed to help you be free.
It is designed only to help you survive.
And, in fact, it keeps you from being free.
You need to figure out what this thing is and work your ass off to un-learn it.
Because the things we learn to do to survive at all costs are
not the things that will help us get FREE.
Getting free is a whole different journey altogether.
And:
Nayyirah Waheed’s “as you are | you are the prayer”
“as you are | you are the prayer”
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘after…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘before…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘when…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘how…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘why…’ you answer.
‘because
you are happening now.
right now.
right at this moment
and
your happening
is beautiful.
the thing that keeps me alive
and
brings me to my knees.
you don’t even know how breathtaking you
are.
as you are.’ says the universe through tears.
After the service I cruised right into a Board meeting while Buds and the kids had lunch, then hauled home the leftover potatoes, and a friend.
Fi and Imani were over for a visit, which I missed due to my meeting, and when I got home around 3:30, Yessa and I headed out to run errands and grab some groceries to feed all the hungry teens and adults at our house.
After a visit with Friend “P’s” mom when she picked him up at 7:30, I settled into bed with a book while Buddie worked and watched CrossFit next to me.
We both talked to our parents. I’m grateful that we still have that privilege.
All our kids are healthy and happy.
We have the joy of a friend living with us, and with her comes another cat to love, and Darling Bo the dog.
We all have work and hobbies we love, comfortable communication, and a safe place to live.
Grateful for another week of this life.
