The End of An Era

The End of An Era

Warning:  Nummers and Nursing are mentioned!  If you have low-squirm threshold, or are uncomfortable with the thought of extended nursing, DO NOT READ THIS!  😉

My life as a nursing mother seems to be over.  Yes, it is all about me.  Noa didn’t seem too bothered by the ending of the relationship, so obviously I’m the one who needs to process through it all.

It seemed the perfect time to make the break, if Noa was willing.  I had 4 nights of meetings in a row.  Everyone was relatively well.  Noa wasn’t facing any major thresholds or stress factors.  So, we did it.

Buds and Noa and I talked and Tuesday night, March 2, we decided that Noa was officially a big girl, and there would be no more nummers.  Then, on the weekend we would have a “Noa Is A Big Girl” Party.  She nursed to sleep one last night that night.  The next two nights, when she awoke during the night, she cried for a little bit, as she generally does when she awakens during the night, but she didn’t ask for nummers, and I didn’t offer.  Buds took care of bedtime for the following nights, and when I would go into her during the night if she awakened, she didn’t ask.

She had a fever and was restless during the night last night, but once she was snuggled in with us, she slept fine, and didn’t ask to nurse.  She wants to be touching me as she falls asleep, and we both like snuggling with our backs together.  That feels safe and cozy, and no one has a mouthful of hair to contend with.

This will seem crazy to many, but she seems so young to me.  Monkey was 3 y., 10 mo., and she only stopped because I was pregnant with Noa, and my body just couldn’t do it.  The Buster was, gasp, 5 y.o., and Noa is only 3 y. 4 mo.  See why she seems young?

It has now been 13 days, and Noa has made the transition as smoothly as I could ever have hoped/dreamed/feared.  We did have one funny discussion a couple nights ago.

Noa says, in her way, which means I’m filling in some of the words, “So, Mom, I know I had my party with a cake, but…why can’t I have nummers?”

I said, “Well, it’s just part of the transition to being a big kid…”

I would have gone on, but she said, “Otay,” and rolled over and went to sleep.

There have been no indications that she’s distressed about the end of nummers in any way.  Today, in fact, she got hurt when all the kids were wrestling with Dad, and once the crying started she normally would have woven her sobbing way to me with a cry of, “I want nummers.”  Instead, today, she pushed all the other kids off Buds and said, “I want Daddy.”

My sadness is slowly wearing away, but I suspect I will continue to fill melancholy about this change for awhile.  It was the one thing only I could do.  It was a very special link between each child and me…just me.

The Big Girl Cake: