Final Destination Loser

There is a franchise of horror movies called "Final Destination." The premise is that Death gets cheated in some way, but everyone knows you can't cheat death. In the one I watched part of, a school trip is headed on a flight to Europe and before the plane takes off, one of the students has a vision of the plane exploding. Several of the students and one of the chaperones get off the plane; plane explodes; survivors try to go on with their lives; each of them die in a bizarre, horrifying accident. Can't cheat death.

I've realized Buds is stalked by the demon of loss in the same way. He really, really can't help it. Things just get lost, and it really doesn't matter what he tries to do. Two recent instances have highlighted the depths that the Loss Demon will go to thwart Buddie's efforts.

On our drive back from dropping the kids at Bing, I handed Buds my credit card to put gas in the car. (His credit card has been misplaced. Or hidden by the Loss Demon.) When we got home, I checked the purple pouch to be sure the credit card had found its way back in there.

It had not.

Thus began our search for the credit card. Buddie knew exactly which coat pocket he had put it in. But it wasn't there. We searched coats, pants, floors, and finally headed out to the van. We found the credit card...in the garbage bag. Buddie certainly didn't put it in there. His coat has very deep pockets. This sort of loss never happens to me.

This morning, Buds took the purple pouch out to get the van warmed up before CrossFit. The purple pouch holds the car fob, the house key, all my cards and cash. It goes everywhere with me.

After CrossFit, I asked Buds to grab the door key out of the purple pouch so we could head inside.

"It's not here." he says.

I feel a little frisson of terror because I haven't touched the purple pouch this morning, so if the Loss Demon has been stalking Buds today, we could be in trouble. The key does not turn up, so we resort to using the hidden key. Buds heads to the front to unlock that door, I carry our gym items up the back stairs, and there's the lost key, peaking out of the snow on the third step.

I share this story so that some day, children, if I'm gone and you are helping Dear Old Dad hold together hearth and home, don't get frustrated with him when things get lost. He really can't help it. Just be grateful it's not death he's thwarted. And if you travel with him, don't let him hold the passports.

I haven't even told you the horrors of our travels back when you had to have paper boarding passes. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫