Back-handed

Buds recently received a "compliment" from someone, and it felt like a swipe. Possibly unintended or subconscious, but a swipe, nonetheless.

I realize I have an oversized comfort with attack when someone is unkind to my beloveds, but it is very difficult for me not to dig a little deeper with this person.

"Help me understand what you meant by your comment? It feels like there was an edge to it?"

But it was directed at Buds, so I will stay out of it.

For now...

Edited the evening after I published this post:

I wrote this post in anger originally, but after that has cooled, I'm still left with a fundamental question.

When does "brushing something off" or "not paying attention," when someone says something that may or may not be intended in an unkind way become a detriment to the relationship?

In this particular instance, if I had directly asked the person, there are two possible outcomes. If it was meant in a snide way, they have been put on notice that that behavior is not in line with the expectations we have in our relationships. If it was meant in a completely kind way, they have the opportunity to clarify their kindness, and the relationship is restrengthened.

Conflict is much less scary to me than broken relationships that could have been saved by direct honesty.