Boil the frog

What is going on, America? We got gas at a large gas station and got sucked into the car wash industrial complex. For our European readers (we will have some of those someday), you may have heard that Americans live in their cars. Well anything you live in needs a shower.

We are sitting about 20th back in line to use a car wash. The experience is very much like going to Disneyland. There is a premium line for the people that have paid for unlimited car washes. However, even they are backed up 10 cars deep to enter the ride.

Once you get in, you have to zipper together two lanes into a single entrance. We are not looking forward to this. Collective action is not our strength as Americans. As you approach the entrance, some poor schmoburgher is standing in the cold with a hose to spray your car.

“Okay, do not! Whatever comes after this f****** Tahoe it’s getting cut off, right?” That is some authentic dialogue captured by Google of a normally calm Buds attempting to guide Ginnie through the zipper.

This leads you into a misty, LED lit suds zone (their branding not mine). Here we go! It smells like lilacs! Cthulu’s grabbed us! Is that ozone? Powerful fans! Shimmering heat.

So finally 20 minutes after we start the ride, we’re out into the sun again. It’s been a strange journey through car capitalism. We’re a little agitated. Car living is stressful, competitive and solitary. It’s expensive too, but it does smell faintly of lilacs.

Outcome is shiny!