Europe Trip #2 – June 24, 2022 – Food Desert

[Warning: Post contains video which is best seen on the website]

The youth were offered a choice last night. Hang with cousins at midday or visit FICO Eataly World in the evening. One chose well, two poorly.

You may recall Eataly from our earlier adventures in Munich.

• https://mommie2zs.com/2022/04/03/eataly-bites/
• https://mommie2zs.com/2022/04/03/europe-trip-1-april-3-2022-bank-shot/

A misunderstanding, an argument. Well shite got real tonight as Eataly doubled down on misadventures.

What’s FICO Eataly World? It is such a great idea. A food amusement park slash slow food indoctrination center slash petting zoo slash learning and culinary experience. Here’s a YouTube video showing what we could expect.

So off we went on the 45 minute walk-bus-bus-walk trip to see this paradise.

There were troubling signs. The bus dropped us a solid 20 minutes from the gates. We clomped down the road. A sign promised Entrada FICO Eataly World! But it just led to more abandoned mall flavored parking lot. Another Entrada! but no real entrance to be seen. Imagine sneaking up on the back of a K-Mart. 

We finally rounded a corner to find a non-inviting gate (open!) and a back-entrance-to-a-event-center feel. Our crew had started carping in earnest and I volunteered to go in and look around. 

Ducking under some more fencing brought me to a quiet side area. It was clear we were close to something because a solitary dejay was setting up his equipment. The dance area was the size of a California king. Another sign “Bagno!” promised people, or at least the remains of them.

Creeping through the side entrance and–boom–there we were in the spacious main hall of FICO Eataly World. Retracing my steps to find the family found me locked in the enclosure. Just like Indiana Jones there was no escape. The only way out was through.

Here’s my impressions on the way through.

It was a theme park for a world where 99% of humanity has been raptured (or whatever). Staff were there, but guests were nowhere to be found. Great new restaurants sat empty save for a token family who each seemed to be getting personal psychological counseling from an impeccably trained server. 

When I crashed through the exit barriers and found the family… well, let’s let Ginnie tell that side of the story.  

* *

From our perspective, we just wanted to find the way in, or be told there was nothing to go IN to. When Buds headed off through the open gate, the kids and I sat on a bench in the shade and wondered if we were ever going to eat.

I glanced over where had Buds gone through the fencing.

“Hey, the gate is closed!”

The children’s spirits immediately improved.

Horror movie jokes quickly lined up.

“You are never s’posed to separate!”

“Dad would want us to save ourselves.”

“Seriously, how is Dad going to get out of there?”

Buddie eventually showed back up at the gate where he had gone in, tugged on the gate, pondered climbing over, then he disappeared into the nethers of the unknown while we tried to keep up the hope that he would be able to find a way out.

“His introverted self is hoping he doesn’t have to talk to anyone,” I said to the children.

We started walking through the nearly deserted parking lot to another possible opening where some actual humans were standing. Buds came walking out when we were nearly there. 

At the same time, a taxi pulled up to load up the only other humans we had seen at Eataly. I ran up to the taxi and gasped out, “How do we get a taxi?!”

The driver gave me a card and the passengers told me the desk person inside had called the taxi for them.

We went inside the building to see if we could possibly salvage this dream, and when I looked at Buds he just shook his head.

It took another 30 minutes to finally get a taxi. We had almost resigned ourselves to the long walk back to the bus stand. All we needed for a sudden rain shower to come up to soak us and the dramedy would have been complete.

Instead we settled in for a quick, quiet taxi ride home, thrilled to be eating the food in our own kitchen, none of us zombies, all of us laughing.

Here’s a video while I was stuck outside the fence.