She Speaks The Truth

Yessa has provided some splendid/dreadful insight in this last week, and though some of it was difficult to hear, I’m so grateful for this rational child, who is so much like me, but also has the best of Buds.

There have been a few incidents in the last couple months that angered me, or hurt my feelings. I like to feel righteous indignation, and I never get any arguments at home, so when someone wrongs me, I hang on to those feelings for a long time. And I like to gripe about those incidents. (Kelly and Paula got to see me spitting with rage when I retold these stories the last time we were together.)

Not a mature or helpful part of my personality, and I’m constantly working on it, but it’s hard.

Yessa heard me telling these stories on our long drive to and from Vermont, and our first night home, as I sat with her while she fell asleep, she had some home truths to offer.

“Mom, what if this person did this because of this?”

And, “maybe this happened for this reason.”

She recast these lovely stories I had spun with myself as the blameless victim. She presented them to me without guile or sarcasm, but with the loving insight of trying to see the best in everyone involved.

To rephrase her words, she said, “What if you assume good intentions on the part of the other people in the story.”

Always assume good intentions.

Not only was she correct, but as I think back on the incidents now, all the sting has gone out of them. She lovingly pushed a mirror in front of my nose, and my distorted view was forever altered.

Then, a few days later, with that razor sharp wit she has, she looked at me with a half-smile and said,”When I want to feel safe, I ride with you.”

Brief pause…

“When I want to have fun, I ride with Dad.”

As most of you know, I am a horrendous passenger, and I love to drive. And once again, she has summarized her parents beautifully.

I want to be, and am, the “safe” one.

Fall down, want to be snuggled? Find Mom.

Have a rash or bite or splinter? Find Mom.

Want laughter or big picture or ideas? Find Dad.

Wrestling, bouncing, a game made up on the spot? Dad’s the one.

Want to have fun? Ride with Dad.