Yessa’s had some interesting thoughts lately, and since I will forget them…in fact, I had already forgotten them, but wrote myself a note to remember…hence:
At church two weeks ago, Rev. Rachel spoke about grief, and part of that discussion was members giving brief obits. for people important to them who have died in the last year. One of the members spoke of a brilliant, devoted couple who had worked together and been married for 60 years. The husband passed, and the wife died five days later, at his memorial service.
Yessa was sitting on the floor, coloring, but was apparently listening because at this point she popped up onto the seat next to me and whispered in my ear, “Wait?! You can die of being sad?”
“Of a broken heart, yes,” I replied.
“Aww, that’s cute…but sad.”
And back to coloring on the floor she went.
Then just yesterday she went to play at Cousins’ house while Buds and I attended the membership class at our new church. She always has a wonderful time there, and yesterday was no exception.
Last night, as we snuggled at bedtime she said, “Mama, when I’m away from you too long, my heart cracks a little.”
Speaking of cousins, she has developed a very un-endearing habit of running and hiding when it is time to leave. Buds and I both find it to be a terribly trying habit. Buds was the one who had to deal with it yesterday, and when he walked in the door, he gave me “the look” and said, “She did the hiding thing again.”
Yessa had come truckin’ up the stairs about 3 minutes in front of Buds, and zoomed past me, straight to her bedroom. She had disappeared under her blankets on her bed, and was sobbing her heart out by the time we went in to talk with her.
The specifics of the conversation are largely irrelevant. We reached a resolution together, but I was reminded once again of what a blessing it is, yet still exhausting, to have been graced with tender-hearted children. We try so hard to be gentle with their spirits, and all three of them feel reprimands so acutely. I wouldn’t even think of using the word “discipline” to explain how we parent our children. That word feels too harsh for the path we are all on together. We learn and talk about respect and understanding and kindness. We recognize that all of them are their own people with individual needs.
Who knows if this approach will work as they age. We’ll all grow and change and learn together.