Challenging Ideas

We went to a 60th birthday party for a beloved friend this weekend. He and his wife are two of my favorite people from church, and I’ve gotten to spend much time with them, thanks to the auction, but Buds hadn’t ever really gotten to visit. It was a wonderful party. Ruth, David’s wife, is an amazing planner, and it showed. They had a chef and his wife there to do all the cooking and serve drinks. Great food, great drink, great company.

David is ex-military, so fascinating people from all different parts of his life were there to celebrate him.

Buds and I had the chance to visit with David about his previous military experience, and he had some really amazing insights and stories to share…at least the stories he could share. Yeah, he was one of those guys. He knows a lot, can only tell a little.

Of the many things he said, the two that have been working their way around in my brain are:

1) There are people we will never know about, doing things we won’t ever know, and won’t ever want to know, for the protection of us all.

2) Sometimes you have to find a balance between your morals and the options life gives you.

David was involved in military public relations during the time before and during the process of the public learning about the abuses at Abu Ghraib Prison.

It was fascinating to get even a tiny insight into how much of the world is gray, no matter how we want it to be black and white.

Then, on Sunday, I read this blog post, shared from a friend’s FB feed: A Challenge to the Amendment One Debate. The author, a gay Christian and native North Carolinian, has some insights about even having discussion about a topic like this which is so divisive and hurtful to so many people…on both sides of the debate.

For me, the big takeaway was that the minute I start assuming that the people on the other side of the debate are ignorant and bigoted, I have lost the opportunity to try and truly engage in meaningful debate. Not just this debate, but any debate of emotional and intellectual value.

I’m still processing how these two events: David’s party with the challenge to my vision of a free, loving world for everyone, met head on by the real-life experience of someone who has had to know about the ugliest evil that lives in our world; and the idea of coming to difficult conversations and debate with an open heart and clear head.

David talked about his thoughts when soon-to-be President Obama said he was going to close the prison. David knew there was no way President Obama could have been briefed about the incredibly complex situation there.

My thoughts kept coming back to the souls of all the people involved. What does it do to your soul to be told to get information no matter the method? What does it do to your soul to be on the receiving end of those actions? What has happened to your soul to believe that some people must die simply because of where they were born? What does it do to your soul to have to put aside what you truly believe to be true, for the sake of the country you have sworn to protect?

And what of those spies David mentioned: People we will never know exist, doing things we will never know about…to keep us safe.

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

*The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

*Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

*Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

*A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

*The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;

*The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;

*Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

One reason I have continued to process my way through all these seemingly contradictory perspectives is because David is one of the kindest, most-loving people I know. He is working to make peace with the role he played and the decisions he was part of for so many years. And I KNOW he was making those decisions for the protection of the citizens of the United States. I’m sure President Obama has these same soul-wrenching decisions to make.

So much to ponder…I can’t even begin to put into writing what I’m trying to think through. At this precise moment in time I’m focused on that First Principle: *The inherent worth and dignity of every person.

How does that apply to people who would do me and mine harm because of our differences in belief. Where does that debate even begin?